All I Wanted
by alexis.cullen1
Summary: Bella has gone through a lot in her life as a young girl, now as a young woman she deals with her problems by using drugs and sells her body to pay her rent and support her drug addiction. Edward has the perfect life until he meets Bella and his world gets turned upside down. No one has been able to help Bella before. Will Edward change her? Rated M for language and lemons.
1. Chapter 1

A/N **this is my first fanfic ever and I hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: all of the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Chapter 1 **Bpov

I woke up with my head pounding from the night before, just another day in the life of Bella Swan the prostitute drug addict. Every day I wake up thinking if only I had finished high school I wouldn't be in this situation, but oh well fuck school im doing just fine the way I am. I got out of my small bed and headed for the shower before another day of work. Before I could undress I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door to reveal my asshole landlord Justin.

"What do you want?" I asked with the right amount of acid in my voice.

"I want my rent." He told me.

"Look Justin, I havent been getting that many customers lately but I was just about to go to work now so if you'll just excuse me." I said slowly closing the door, but Justin's foot stopped it before I could get it all the way closed.

"Or maybe instead of wasting your precious drug money you could pay me some other way." He hinted with a small grin on his face. Justin didn't know that much about me but he did know two important facts about me. 1. I could barely go though a day without a joint or a couple of shrooms. 2.I'd do anything to get out of paying rent.

I had turned him down many times before but he just wouldn't quit. I opened the door wide enough to allow him into my apartment.

As soon as the door shut he spun me around by my shoulders and pushed me down on my knees. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his already hard cock. He grabbed the back of my head roughly and told me to open my mouth. I did as I was told and he shoved his small hard cock into my mouth. He started to thrust his hips back and forth for about 7 minutes until he came in my mouth. The taste was so unappealing that I almost gagged but I stopped myself knowing that he wouldn't like that. He zipped his pants and started walking towards the door.

"Consider your rent paid for this month." he said as he left my apartment.

I hurried to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I spun around to face the mirror and sink. As I brushed the taste of Justin off my tongue I thought about how stupid I had been to agree to move into this shithole apartment.

After showering and putting on the right attire for the day I slid into my long trench coat I left the apartment and headed for my usual corner. I walked around the block once to make sure there were no cops around.

Before starting my day I went into the coffee shop across the street to my usual black coffee. The guy behind the counter eyed my coat knowing what was underneath it because he had been one of my regular customers.

"Are you going to wait for me to get off of work today or are you going to take of like you did the other day?" He asked me.

"I don't know mike. Are you getting paid today?" I responded. He smiled a little.

"As a matter of fact I am getting paid today." he smiled and winked.

"Then I'll wait for you." I said in my sexiest voice. He slid my coffee over the counter and I walked away without paying. At least there was one good thing I got out of doing what ever men told me to do, sometimes I got stuff for free like coffee, weed, shrooms, and other things but unfortunately the coke still cost me.

I walked straight into someone's chest as I was leaving the coffee shop, before I could tell them to watch where the fuck they were walking I looked up into the most stunning shade of green eyes I had ever seen.

"Excuse me, I should really watch where im walking." the man said in the sexiest voice I had ever heard.

"I….uh… sorry." I said before walking away with my head down.

As I was crossing the street I looked back and noticed him staring at me, I also noticed his wild copper colored hair. Damn just one look for that guy and my panties were soaked.

I was interrupted from my thoughts as a car screeched around the corner.

"Where the hell were you? Ive been looking everywhere for you! Get in the fucking car now!"

A/N **So… that's the beginning of all I wanted I hope you like please review. After I get a good amount of reviews ill update and ill start making my chapters longer.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N **heres the second chapter of all I wanted. As I promised this chapter and the following ones will be longer than the first chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie meyer owns all of the charaters.**

**Chapter 2 **Epov

I slammed my hand over the snooze button for the second time that morning. I really didn't feel like going to school today, but as my dad always said you have to get an education to be successful in life. I cant achieve my goal of wanting to be a doctor by laying in bed all day.

Life as a college student was starting to get boring and repetitious, every day it's the same thing get up, get dressed, get coffee, get to class. I was starting to get frustrated ,but as usual I went along with my daily routine. I went down into the parking garage and got into my black Porsche 911.

I was looking down at my phone as I walked into the coffee shop, but as I was walking I bumped into someone. I quickly slipped my phone into my pocket and looked at who I bumped into. She was beautiful. She had long brown hair and milk chocolate eyes that looked as though they were melting when she looked at me.

"sorry I should really watch where im walking." I told her. She stared at me then replied.

"I….uh…sorry." she walked away with her head hung. I couldn't help but stare at her. She turned and looked at me as she continued to walk away, but as she stopped at the corner a car pulled up in front of her and I heard someone yelling at her. She made a face but got into the car anyway. I watched the car drive away then walked into the shop to get my coffee.

As I sat though my morning classes all I kept thinking about was those beautiful brown eyes staring at me. I wish I would have at least gotten her number, but all I said was I should watch where im walking. Brilliant, just wonderful.

"Edward…? Mr. Cullen!" my professor yelled at me to get me attention.

"Im sorry, my mind was elsewhere. What were you saying?" I responded. Just as he opened his mouth to answer my question the bell rang and I hurried out of my seat eager to get back home. I found myself looking for the brown eyed girl as I drove back home. I don't know why but there was just something about her other than her beauty that made me feel so attracted to her. I was hoping that I would see her again soon, and if I did surly I wouldn't let her go.

Bpov

I got into the car and slammed the door shut.

"Don't fucking yell at me! And what the hell do you mean you've been looking everywhere? I was getting a fucking coffee!" I yelled at Jacob. I seriously don't know what his problem is but the guy just thinks he owns me. He's my customer, that's is and if he thinks there's something more between us then that's his problem.

"I'm sorry babe, I just got worried when I couldn't find you." he said.

"Stop calling me babe, im not your girlfriend and I never will be." I told him, he looked a little hurt but I really don't give a fuck about anyone's feeling let alone Jacobs.

"If you would just consider, I mean I know you sleep around with a lot of guys but I'll look past that." I said pleadingly. Wow this guy just doesn't get it.

"Look Jacob I don't sleep around, im a prostitute its my job. And ive already told you before I don't want to be with you. I don't do good with relationships." I told him slowly like I was talking to a child.

"if your going to start with this boyfriend shit again you can just let me out of the car." I said.

"ok ok, ill stop." he said.

We pulled up to the cheap motel that he always took me to and I hopped out of the car.

I waited for him as he went to retrieve the room key. He bounded towards me looking all excited with a huge grin on his face. I sighed and walked in the room behind him. He turned the lights on and through the key on the small table. He turned to face me and his smile faltered.

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

" Nothing, lets just get this over with." I replied. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me to his chest. He started to kiss down the side of my neck. I usually didn't allow kissing but I had to admit, it felt pretty good. He unbuttoned my coat and it slid down my arms. He looked hungrily at my outfit which was a black lace corset and matching panties. He licked his lips as he pulled his shirt over his head revealing his beautiful abs. Jacob may be annoying as hell but he had a fucking hot body. He started untying my corset, but before he could finish I reached around him and felt around in his back pocket until I got the condom. Jacob finished untying my corset then started unbuttoning his pants. I sank down to my knees pulling his pants down the rest of the way. I reached into his boxers and pulled out his hard cock. I looked into his eyes as I slid his cock in my mouth. He threw his head back and moaned as I swirled my tongue around the head of his dick. I closed my eyes and saw piercing green eyes staring back at me. My eyes shot open, Jacob didn't notice. I stood up he turned me around so I was facing away from him. He pulled down my panties then put the condom on. He slammed his cock into my ass and I yelled out in pain. He slowed down a bit but kept thrusting into my ass. This went on for about 15 minutes until he came. When he pulled out my ass-hole was throbbing. He laid back in the bed watching me as I put my clothes back on.

"Are you coming?" I asked. He jumped out of the bed and started to put his clothes on. Before we walked out of the door he slid four, fifty dollar bills into the pocket of my trench coat.

The ride was silent, but before I got out of the car Jacob looked at me like he was about to cry or something.

"What?" I asked, annoyed by his look.

"Im moving tomorrow." he said.

"Ok , and….?" I responded.

"This is the last time I'll see you." he said sadly.

"oh umm… well have a nice life." I told him as I was getting out of the car.

"Wait!" he grabbed my arm before I could get all the way out of the car.

"Please can I just have one kiss? Please." he begged. I could help but comply, the guy looked miserable. I leaned over to his side of the car and pressed my lips against his. The kiss lasted for about 10 seconds before I pulled away. Jacob was still looking at me with those sad eyes I almost felt sorry for him, but I didn't. I cant afford to feel sorry for anyone but myself. As I got out of the car I heard Jacob whisper a goodbye but I didn't look back I just kept walking until I reached the corner where I would wait for mike to get off of work. Well I just lost one of my best customers but I guess ill find more, I mean im bella fucking swan. Im sure ill find more regular customers. Maybe if I see that sexy green eyed man again all make him an offer he cant refuse.

A/N **second chapter! Hope you love it! **

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	3. Chapter 3

A/N **I wanna first start off by saying there wont be anymore Jacob in the story, I don't like Jacob. Ok now that's out of the way.**

**Disclaimer: characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 3 ****Epov**

I was sitting on my couch when I heard a loud knock on my door. I walked over to the door and opened it. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. The beautiful brown eyed girl that I had seen earlier that day was standing right in front of me. She placed her hand on my chest and slowly pushed me backwards until she was standing in my apartment and she reached behind herself and closed the door.

"How did you know where I live?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"I have my sources." she said, staring me straight in the eyes. I noticed that her pupils were dilated but I didn't pay much attention to it as she began to undress herself.

"I know you want me Edward." she said in a sexy low voice. Her coat slid down her arms and she walked closer to me until she was right in my face. She pressed her lips against mine and started to kiss me. Her lips were so soft and moist, I felt myself beginning to grow hard. She pulled away and looked down at my hard dick and smiled.

"Do you think im sexy Edward?" she asked.

"Yes." I simply responded.

"Well then fuck me." she whispered in my ear.

My eyes shot open and I sat straight up in bed. Wow I haven't had I dream like that since I was 14, I thought to myself. I looked down and noticed that my dick was still hard as a rock just like it had been in the dream. I groaned and looked over at the clock, it was 6am I might as well just get up and take a shower. I walked into the bathroom and undressed myself, my dick still hard. This just wasn't gonna go away until I did something about it.

I turned on the shower and stepped under the hot water, I closed my eyes and conjured up the images from my dream. I grabbed the base of my cock and started to stroke as I thought of how the brown eyed girl whispered in my ear for me to fuck her. Her voice so smooth and sexy, just that alone brought me to my release. I washed up then got out of the shower and dressed myself.

I was headed to the to the coffee shop to turn in the application that I had picked up a couple of days ago. I was tired of just living off of my grandparents trust fund, I mean it was nice and all not having to work but I knew that the money wouldn't last forever so I just wanted to get used to having to work. Even if it was just at a small coffee shop, and plus it might heighten my chances of seeing the brown eyed girl again. Once again I found myself looking for her as I was driving to the coffee shop. I walked up to the counter once I was in the shop and placed my application on the counter.

"Hey Edward. What's up?" mike asked.

"Nothing just returning my application." I responded.

"Ok well ill just take that back to Mr. Granger then you can be on your way." he said.

"Thanks mike." I said heading for the door.

I didn't have any classes today so I had promised my mom that I would have breakfast with her.

As I walked through the door of my child hood home I was greeted by my father, Carlisle.

"Hello son, how are you?" He asked with a smile.

"Im doing well, and you?" I replied.

"Im just fine, I was just heading into the kitchen to have breakfast. I didn't know you were joining us." he said.

"Yeah since I didn't have any classes today mom asked me to come." I told him.

We walked into the kitchen where my mother was sitting at the table. She stood when she saw me, she walked over and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Im glad you could you make it sweetie." she said happily.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I said with a hint of sarcasm.

We sat down and enjoyed a nice silent breakfast, it wasn't till the meal was that my mom started asking me questions.

"So how are your classes going?" she started.

"There going fine." I responded. The unimportant questions continued until I got a text.

EMMETT:HEY EDDIE BOY, WHAT R U DOING?

I hate it so much when he calls me Eddie. Emmett was a good brother when he wanted to be. Other times he was just plain annoying.

EDWARD:IM AT MOM AND DADS HAVING BREAKFAST, AND STOP CALLING ME THAT.

EMMETT:HOW COME I WASN'T INVITED?L

EDWARD: IDK, WHAT DO U WANT?

EMMETT:DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MALL WITH ME AND ROSALIE?

Just my luck I get to go to the mall with the queen of bitches, but since I wasn't doing anything else I agreed to go.

EDWARD: FINE. ILL MEET YOU THERE.

Looks like the rest of my day is planned.

Bpov

I spread all the money that I had made that week out on the kitchen table. 1,025 was the total I had made. Damn Im good at what I do, I thought to myself. Since my rent was already paid for the month I figured half the money would be used for food and shit like that and the other half would go to a couple good lines of coke and a trip to the mall for some more lingerie. I really don't understand why guys like for you to dress so sexy if their just going to take your clothes off. I don't have enough money to keep going to the mall almost every week to buy new lingerie, sooner or later im just gonna stay naked under my trench coat. im sure guys will like that.

I called up my best friend Hayley to go the mall with me. Unlike me she didn't make her living fucking guys for money, she made money by being a waitress at a very expensive restaurant and every night she would also get paid to sing. She had a very beautiful voice, she once suggested that I get a job where she worked and I could also get paid for singing. Ha! The only thing my mouth is good for is sucking dicks.

She answered her phone on the second ring.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hey Hayley, what's up?" I asked.

"Oh hey Bella!" she said excitedly.

"Are you doing anything today?" I asked.

"Nope." she responded.

"Cool, do you want to go to the mall with me?"

"Sure, that sounds fun. We haven't hung out in ages."

"Well we will today. Can you pick me up?"

"Yupp, ill be there in about 20 minutes ok?"

"ok see you in a bit." I said then hung up.

True to her word Hayley pulled up 20 minutes later. Sometimes I didn't really like being around her because she always tried to give me these pep-talks about how I could get hurt by being a prostitute. I mostly just ignored her when she started talking like that.

"Hey." I said as I got into the front seat of her car.

"Hey." she responded.

The ride to the mall was quiet, but that wasn't unusual for us. We both liked to just listen to music instead of forcing boring conversation. As we pulled into the mall parking lot I noticed that it wasn't that crowded, well not for a Saturday.

It was hot when we stepped out of the car into the blazing sunlight.

"Jeez, could it get any hotter?" Hayley complained.

"It's only 80, so yeah it could get hotter." I said.

"Shut up smart-ass. I wasn't actually asking a question and you know that." She responded.

"Whatever." I said with a smile on my face.

The cold air blasted my face as we walked into the mall. The first store we went into was Claire's, it was only an accessory store but trust me when I say you could find some pretty sexy stuff in there. Hayley came out with three small bags full of earrings and makeup, I only had one bag and it held a belly-button ring and a case of dark shaded makeup.

Next we headed over to Victoria secret, now that was where I came out with three bags full of sexy bra's and panties. Where as Hayley only got one thing which was a plain boring black bra with pink polka dots and matching panties, it was cute but boring.

"I'm starved! Do you wanna head over to the food court and get something to eat?" Hayley asked.

"Yeah, im pretty hungry too." I said as my stomach growled, not eating breakfast that morning was really starting to take a toll on me.

We went to subway and got out lunch, it was too crowded in the food court so we took out food and went to sit at a bench outside of Hot topic. We ate in silence and finished out lunches fast since we were so hungry.

"Are you ready to go?" Hayley asked.

"Yeah I just have to use the bathroom first. I'll be right back." I said as I headed towards the ladies room. I finished quickly washed my hands and head out. I stood outside of the bathroom door looking for Hayley which took me about two seconds because I spotted her bright red hair. That was one thing I loved about Hayley, she wasn't afraid of sticking out or looking different. Her hair had been many different shades of red, orange, and even pink, since she was about sixteen.

"Hey, I'm ready." I said as I walked up to her.

She was facing away from me talking to this big buff dude with curly brown hair.

"Oh Bella, this is my friend Emmett and his girlfriend Rosalie." said Hayley.

"Oh hi, nice to meet you." I said nicely.

Emmett took my hand and shook it while flexing his muscles and flashing a blinding white smile. This guy was hot and I bet his dick was as big as his muscles.

"Nice to meet you too." he said in a deep voice while his girlfriend stared daggers at me.

I ignored her and looked at the big hunk in front of me, I noticed his eyes were a familiar green. Before I could remember where I had seen those eyes before I heard a smooth voice coming from behind me calling Emmett's name. I turned around to see where the voice was coming from, and then I remembered where I had seen those eyes. It was the guy from the coffee shop! The sexy one with the copper color hair and the piercing green eyes that had me wet with one look. He looked surprised when he saw me, and stopped dead in his tracks. He quickly composed his self and walked right up to me.

"Hi, Im Edward." He said with that sexy voice of his.

"Bella." I said finding myself at a loss for words as I stared into his eyes.

He held his hand out to me and I placed my hand in his. He brought my hand to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles. What a gentleman! If I thought I was wet before then I had another thing coming, It was like a broken faucet down there. Hayley, who was staring at the whole thing turned her back and continued her conversation with Emmett. Edward still had my hand in his and I noticed that there was I strange feeling in my hand where he had kissed me. It felt like it was on fire, but I liked it, a lot.

"I don't know if you remember me but we kinda bumped into each other at a coffee shop a couple of days ago, and you left before I had a chance to ask for your number." he said smoothly.

"Uh, Yeah I remember you." I said stupidly, but I was rewarded with a beautiful smile.

"I'd love to take you out to dinner or something sometime." he said confidently, but this was a problem. I didn't want to turn him down but I don't date. I was having an internal battle on whether I should let him take me on a date or not. The whole debate took about 2 minutes until I decided that a date with Edward was definitely worth it.

"Sure I'd love to go to dinner with you." I said. I saw Hayley smile brightly out the corner of my eye.

"So can I have you number?" He asked with a hint nervousness in his voice.

I gladly gave him my number.

"Are you ready to go Bella?" Hayley asked.

"Yeah im coming." I told her. "Well I guess ill see you later." I said to Edward.

"I'll call you. Goodbye." he sad sounding a little sad to see me go.

Hayley grabbed my elbow and pulled me away from Edward, who was staring at me as we walked away.

This would be this first time I ever made an exception and went on a date with a guy since I had become a prostitute, but I don't think im going to regret this date with Edward. It was just something about him that was different, like the way it felt when he touched me. I had a feeling this was just the beginning of something wonderful.

A/N **so theres the third chapter I am sooo so sorry it took me so long to update but I had a lot going on. I should be able to update every week now so dont give up on me just yet. Thanks guys!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: characters belong to S.M.**

**Chapter 4**

**Epov**

I felt a strange rush as I walked into the mall. It was like a premonition, like something important was about to happen. I hadn't been particularly happy about this trip to the mall but just as I walked inside something changed dramatically.

I spotted Emmett standing next to the restrooms talking with someone.

"Emmett." I called out.

Emmett's head shot up and the woman who he was talking to turned and faced my direction. The first thing I saw was her beautiful brown eyes. I stopped instantly, that was the girl I had bumped into at the coffee shop. The one who had been starring in my dreams ever since the day I saw her. I quickly shook off my stupor realizing that I must look like a total idiot just standing there staring at her. I walked right up to her and introduced myself.

"Bella." she simply responded.

So that was her name. Bella. I had been thinking about her so much lately, it would have been so much easier if I had knew her name from the start. I might have been able to ask mike about her.

Her name fit her so well. Bella, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.

I took her hand and placed a kiss on her soft ivory skin. When my lips touched her skin there was a soft shock. Almost like when you shuffle across the carpet then touch someone. It was like that, but it felt good. Having my lips on her skin made my cock twitch, even if it was just her knuckles. This women made me feel strange things.

"I don't know if you remember me but we kinda bumped into each other a couple of day ago, and you left before I had a chance to ask for your number." I said.

Wow I have no idea where all this confidence is coming from, I thought to myself.

Im not shy but im not usually this direct. I then went so far as to ask her out to dinner then for her number. Both responses from her were positive and it made me feel like the luckiest fucker on earth, I got her number and im going to take her out to dinner.

The whole time I was at the mall with Emmett and Rosalie, Bella was all I was thinking about. I thought about how her lips moved when she talked, I thought about how our date would go, I thought about how it would feel to kiss her beautiful full pink lips. I was thinking so much that I didn't notice there was a large brick wall in front of me until I walked straight into it.

"Hey, watch where your walking!" Emmett said to the brick wall, mock punching it.

"You okay little brother? You need me to beat up this big mean brick wall for hurting you?" Emmett asked annoyingly.

"Shut up Em, I just wasn't paying attention." I replied sourly.

"Oh you got your mind on that hot date of yours." he said, earning a slap in the back of the head from Rosalie.

"Just mind your own business Emmett." I said.

"Okay, I quit. Are you ready to go?" Emmett asked.

"We just got here." I said.

"Wow, you must have really been out of it. Dude we've been here for like two hours."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah dude." he told me.

"Oh, yeah I guess I am ready to leave then." I said.

I walked to my car once again letting my thoughts drift back to Bella, I really couldn't wait for our date.

**Bpov**

"Oh my god! I cant believe your going on a date! And especially with Edward, he's such a nice guy and he's really good looking." Hayley exclaimed.

"What would Taylor think about you saying Edward is good looking?" I said trying to change the subject. One way to surely change the subject with Hayley is to talk about her boyfriend, Taylor.

I knew Taylor wouldn't really care if Hayley said Edward was hot, I just really wanted her to stop talking about the fact that this would be the first date I was going on in ages.

"Aw crap! I forgot to get Taylor a new beanie. He lost his favorite red one and I told him I would get him another." Hayley said.

"Chill Hayley, we'll get it some other time." I told her.

"Yeah I guess. Lets talk about your date some more." She said with a devilish grin on her face.

"Ugh! Just drop it. I know your excited about this and I am too, but can we just listen to music for now?" I said agitated.

"Yeah, okay." Hayley said sadly with her bottom lip poking out.

"Aw come on Hayley don't make me feel all bad now." I said.

"I just wanted to talk about your date a little." She said in a small voice making her eyes all big and watery.

She knew I just couldn't resist her pouty face, she just looked so sad and helpless.

"Fine. What exactly do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Ok what are you going to wear?" she asked excitedly.

"I don't know I wasn't really thinking about that right now." I said.

"Well no offense, but do you even have any clothes that would be appropriate for a date?"

I was about to respond with a quick snarky remark when I actually stopped and thought, do I have anything appropriate? I mean other than my "work" clothes I only had casual clothes like jeans and t-shirts, what if he wanted to take me somewhere fancy or something.

"Now that I think about it, no I don't have any "appropriate" clothes." I said bitterly.

"Its okay darlin you can borrow something from my closet." she said in her sweet voice.

"Thanks." I said as nicely as possible.

We pulled up in Hayley's drive-way and got our bags out of the backseat of her car. As soon as we got in the house we were welcomed by the sound of Taylor jamming on his guitar. He must have heard us come in because he stopped playing and came in the kitchen to greet us.

"Hey baby." he said to Hayley, kissing her on her slightly flushed cheek.

"Hi." she said in awe, like a lovesick teenager.

The whole scene kinda made me want to vomit.

"Ew, get a room." I said sourly.

"Hey Bella." Taylor chuckled. He walked over to me and placed a kiss on my forehead.

Ever since my brother died and my mom decided to follow him, Hayley and Taylor have been my only family. They often tried to save me from following in my mothers footsteps and killing myself, but I knew exactly what I was doing and I never got hurt. Well maybe one time.

"_Hey baby, you looking to kill sometime?" I asked the guy who had stopped in front of the corner I was standing on._

"_Sure, get in." he said in a deep voice._

"_Where we going?" I asked in a sexy voice while rubbing on his inner thigh._

"_It doesn't matter. What do you do?" he asked._

"_Anything you want me to, baby." I whispered in his ear._

_He pulled into the parking lot of a motel. To be honest the motel wasn't that bad, well compared to the others ive been to. He got a small leather pouch from has glove compartment before we left the car, he was holding it close to his side as we walked to the room. As soon as I closed the door behind myself he pulled out the contents of the pouch. A large smile crossed my face as he offered me a line of coke, of course I accepted._

"_Looks like we got ourselves a pro." he said as I carefully snorted the line up my nose._

_I smiled at his comment, but then his face got serious._

"_Lets get to business." he said._

_I was glad I got a good high before doing this so I wouldn't have to feel anything._

_He grabbed me roughly by me arm and started ripping my clothes off. Once I was naked he spun me around so I was facing away from him, that's when I started to get a little nervous._

"_Um, what are you doing?" I asked in a shaky voice._

"_Im going to fuck you hard in your tight ass, like a little bitch." he said roughly._

_I moved away from him before he could get fully undressed._

"_Sorry I don't do that." I said quietly._

_He crossed the room quickly and slapped me hard across my face, then he grabbed me by my throat and forced me to look him in the eyes._

"_You lying little bitch! You said you would do anything I wanted you to do!" he yelled, tightening his grip on my throat._

"_Im sorry." I choked out, my voice was barely audible._

"_Yeah your going to be sorry." he said, releasing my throat and bending me over the table._

_I screamed as he slammed his dick into my ass-hole. I had never had anal sex before, so this was my first time and it hurt like hell._

"_Stop!" I pleaded uselessly._

"_Shut up, you stupid slut!" he yelled, punching me in my lower back._

_I cried out as he continued to pound my back with his fists. His pace quickened and I suspected he was near his climax. He finished after about twelve minutes then he pulled out and pushed me onto the filthy floor. _

"_That was terrible." he said, then grabbed my shirt and started cleaning the blood off of his dick with it. I just laid there on the floor and cried he started dressing his-self and then he kicked me hard in my face as he walked passed me, which just caused me to cry even harder. I hear the door close behind him as he leaves without even paying me._

_It's a shame that the only thing im thinking about right now is how he didn't pay me but that's the only reason im doing this in the first place. Get fucked, get paid, get high. That was my daily routine at sixteen years old. Sometimes I wished I could just be a normal teenager and go to school and have boyfriends instead of "costumers", but I am and always will be Bella Swan the drug addicted prostitute with no real family._

_I collected my things and left the motel. I was about fifteen steps away from the motel when I collapsed, the pain was just to much. I couldn't keep walking feeling like this._

_I just laid there on the sidewalk crying, I wasn't sure why I was crying but it kinda felt good. After about ten minutes of laying there feeling pathetic I heard a car stop in front of where I was laying._

"_Bella!" said a worried voice._

_I looked over to see Hayley and Taylor getting out of the car and rushing over to me._

"_Bella what happened?" Hayley asked._

"_He raped me." I whispered._

"_Who raped you?" Taylor asked aggressively._

"_I don't know who it was." I said softly._

"_Come on, we have to get her to a hospital." Hayley said to Taylor._

"_No! Just take me home." I said sternly._

"_Bella your hurt, you have to go to the…" I cut him off._

"_I said just take me home!" I repeated._

_Taylor lifted me off the ground and carried me to the car, he laid me on my stomach in the back seat. Hayley and Taylor got in the front and drove away from the curb. I was staring out of the window letting the tears silently roll down my face, I turned on my side and looked in between the seats at Hayley and Taylors joined hands. Hayley's engagement ring was sparkling from the street lights in the dark car. I felt bitter and jealous as I looked at the beautiful ring, Hayley and Taylor were only eighteen years old but already well on their way to being married._

_No one would ever love me like they love each other, I was nothing. I don't even know why Hayley and Tay put up with me, I just get in the way of them having a normal life. Their eighteen taking care of a sixteen year old, that's not normal._

"Hello? Is anyone home?" Taylor said snapping his fingers in front of my face, bringing me back from my memories.

"Oh, yeah. What?" I asked confused.

"I was asking you if you wanted to stay the night and watch a movie with me and Hayley." Tay asked.

"Sorry, I have plans this evening." I said.

"Okay, well I guess ill see you later Bella." Taylor said giving me a hug and walking back into the other room.

"Bella, please stay." Hayley begged, looking at me with sad eyes.

"I cant, but ill call you tonight and maybe we can hang out again tomorrow." I said, kissing Hayley on her forehead.

I turned to leave and I heard Hayley whisper something but I just kept walking.

**A/N if your wondering,****Bella is 19, Hayley and Taylor are both 21, and Edward is 20. Next chapter will be Edward and bellas date.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! If you don't review then I wont know of there are people reading my story, and if I feel like no one is reading then I wont update as often so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! **


	5. Chapter 6

**A/N thanks to the people who reviewed on the last chapter. I hope this chapter is good enough for you to review! But like I said if I don't get reviews I wont update as often, so please leave me some love! Also im so sorry for taking so long on the update. I am not abandoning this story.**

**BPOV**

I woke up to my phone vibrating on the night stand. Who the hell was calling me right now, I thought to myself then I looked over at the clock. Oh, I guess it could be anyone calling since it was 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

"Hello?" I said.

There was a shallow breathing on the other end, but no answer.

"I don't have time for this, either talk or im hanging up." I said, annoyed.

"Um, hi Bella. This is Edward." said a smooth sexy voice.

"Oh, hey Edward. Um, sorry for the crankiness I just woke up." I said.

"Umm its four in the afternoon." he said chuckling.

"I know, but I had a long night." I responded. Deciding not to go into detail.

"Oh. I was just calling to ask if you maybe wanted to go out with me somewhere tonight? If your not busy, because if you are don't worry about it we could always reschedule, but only if you want to because I mean if you don't want to go on a date with me you can just tell me, I wont be upset or anything…" he rambled on until I cut him off.

"Edward! Id love to go out with you tonight." I told him.

"Oh, good." he said, sighing in relief.

"Do you know where Hayley lives?" I asked.

"Yeah sure. Why?" he questioned.

"Because im going to be over there later so you can just pick me up from there at around seven, if you don't mind." I stated.

"Okay, that's fine." he replied.

"Okay well I guess ill see you later."

"Yeah, see you later, goodbye." And with that the conversation was ended.

The reason I was having Edward pick me up from Hayley's house was because I didn't want him to see where I lived. To be honest this place was a complete shit-hole, and I didn't want Edward to get a bad impression of me because of where I live. I don't know why but I felt like if Edward had seen where I live that he would be ashamed of me and then automatically assume that I had a bad job because I couldn't afford to live anyplace better. Hayley and Taylor had offered to let me live with them many times but I declined every time. I didn't want to be more of a burden to them than I already was. Their house was actually pretty nice, it had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a day room, and a fully furnished basement. It was plenty of space for me but I just didn't want to live there. I'm a big girl I can take care of myself.

After I finished my conversation with Edward I called Hayley to tell her what was going on that evening, and to ask her to pick me up. About ten minutes after I hung up with Hayley she pulled up in front of my apartment building. As I was walking to the car I saw Hayley's blinding smile, this is going to be a long ride. As soon as I got in the car Hayley started bombarding me with questions.

"Where is he taking you? What are you going to wear? What time is he picking you up? Are you excited?"

"HAYLEY!" I shouted, stopping her attack. She jumped a little at my outburst.

"Yes Bella?" she said softly, like I had hurt her feelings.

"I'm sorry for yelling but you need to cool it with the questions. I don't even know the answers to some of the questions you were asking." I told her.

"Oh, ok. Well we'll just have to figure it out now won't we." She retorted.

"Yeah sure. What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Ok well what are you wearing?"

"Um, that was one of the questions I don't know the answer to." Hayley sighed in frustration.

"Well, where is he taking you?"

"I'm not sure."

"Bellaaaaa! How in the world are you supposed to know what to wear if you don't know where your going? I mean what if he takes you to the opera and your wearing jeans and a t-shirt, or what if you go to the movies and your wearing a cocktail dress? Ugh! This is so frustrating!"

"How do you think I feel? I'm the one going on the date. Hayley this is going to be the first date that I've gone on in ages! I'm terribly nervous, and in all honesty you really aren't helping me."

"Ok, you're totally right. We both need to just calm down so we can think. Did he maybe give you any hints as to where you're going?"

"No. He only asked me if I wanted to go somewhere with him." I said. Only now realizing that I should have asked him where we were going to go. The rest of the ride to Hayley's house was silent while we thought of what I was going to wear. We entered her house in the same silence that had overtaken us in the car. We were sitting at the island in her kitchen for about five minutes when Taylor walked in.

"Hey girls." Tay greeted us.

"Hi." We both mumbled.

"What's with you two?" He asked.

"Bella's going on a date with Edward and we're trying to figure out what she should wear." Said Hayley .

"Oh, Well where are you going?" He said.

"I don't know." I responded vacantly, trying to think up an outfit that would be appropriate for any place he took me.

"Well why don't you just call him and ask him." He suggested.

"I don't want to do that." I said.

"Why?" He questioned.

"I just don't. Damn what's up with you and this Spanish inquisition shit?" I said.

"Jeeze I was just wondering. Well if you don't wanna call Edward then call Emmett and ask."

"Oh my god, Taylor you're a genius." I said.

"Why, thank you." He laughed.

Hayley pulled out her cell phone dialed Emmett's number. I heard his voice come through the speaker. It was like this guy didn't have an indoor voice, I could hear him all the way across the table.

"Hello?" He practically yelled.

"Hey Emmett, its Hayley."

"Oh hey! What's up?"

"Did you hear your brother's going on a date?" She asked slyly.

"Hell yeah. With your friend Bella, right?"

"Yeah, he told you about it?"

"Yupp, he says he's taking her to the carnival while its in town. Isn't that so sweet." He said while laughing.

"Oh that's cool. Well Tay just got here and he needs my help with something so ill just call you back a little later."

"Okay, later." He said.

She hung up the phone and a big smile spread across her face.

"Your going to the carnival!" She said.

"Yeah, I heard. So I guess jeans and a T-shirt would be appropriate then."

"Yeah, sure come on. Its already six o'clock."

We went into her room and raided her closet until we found something nice to wear. Hayley was a lot shorter than me so when I put on a pair of her jeans they rose to almost the middle of my calf, so I cuffed them and made them look like Capri's. I put on a pair of black Sperry's and a purple tank top with a black beanie. I wore my hair down in waves then applied a layer of eye-liner and light mascara, and a bit of lip gloss.

"Oh, you look so nice Bella" Hayley said when I was finished.

"Thanks." I said, blushing slightly.

I heard a car pull up in the drive way and my heart started racing.

"He's here!" Hayley exclaimed.

"Yeah I know, I'll be right back." I said heading towards the bathroom. I closed the door and looked at myself in the mirror. I was sweating nervously and shaking, then I realized it wasn't from my nerves. It was because I hadn't had a line in over 24 hours, I was having withdrawal symptoms. I reached into my purse and grabbed a small bag that held my coke. I made a line on the edge of the sink and snorted it into my nose with a small straw. I instantly felt it starting to take effect. I looked in the mirror and saw that my pupils were slightly dilated already, I felt so much better. I exited the bathroom and walked into the kitchen. I was greeted by possibly the most beautiful being on the earth.

"Hi Bella" Edward said with a large smile.

"Hi." I responded. He glanced down at his watch then looked up at me.

"We should probably get going."

"Okay, Bye Hayley. Bye Tay."

"Bye Bells." Said Hayley.

"Have fun." Taylor responded.

Edward and I walked outside and I stopped in my tracks.

"Whoa, that's your car?" I asked, looking at the black Porsche 911 parked in the driveway.

"Yeah." He said chuckling. He walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for me. I got in the car and he closed the door behind me. When I got in the car the smell of fresh leather and mens cologne drifted into my nostrils. His car was very neat and clean, it looked brand new. Edward got in the car and when he closed his door the smell of his cologne wafted over to me. It aroused me instantly, But honestly everything arouses when I'm high.

"You look very nice." Edward complimented me, making me blush which was a rare occurrence.

"Thank you, you look nice too." I said with a small smile.

He was wearing a tight black t-shirt which showed off his muscled chest and abs. He had on dark straight-leg jeans with black Dr. Martins and black ray bans. He was fucking hot!

"Thanks. So I thought I'd take you to the carnival while its around. Is that ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, sounds fun."

"And then after if we're hungry we can go somewhere and get something to eat, or maybe we can just get something from the carnival. What do you think?"

"Anything is fine with me. Can I ask you something?"

"Um sure."

"Do you always talk this much?" I asked with a smile. He chuckled a little.

"Honestly no. I'm just really nervous. I haven't been on a date since I was 16." He laughed.

"I totally understand. I haven't been on a date since I was 14."

"Really? Why?"

"No guys have really caught my attention." I said which caused him to smile widely.

"So im the only guy who's caught your attention?"

"Yeah, pretty much." I smiled.

We pulled up into the some-what crowded parking lot and found a spot. Edward got out of the car and before I had time to get my seat belt off he was on my side of the car opening the door for me. I smiled at him as I got out of the car. As we walked over to the entrance of the carnival he placed his hand on my lower back and it instantly made moisture pool in-between my legs. His hand was so warm and comforting. Usually when guys -except Tay- touch me I get this feeling of sickness, but with Edward it was different. With him I felt safe. I looked over at him and caught him staring at me, he looked away and started blushing which caused me to giggle like a fucking thirteen year old. He smiled when I giggled, and seeing his smile made me feel really happy for some reason. It made me feel like nothing in my life was shitty. Edward bought the tickets and we headed over to the Ferris wheel first. We got strapped into the seat and the ride started.

"So, do you work?" He asked. Oh shit….

"Um im a student." I lied.

"Oh really? Where?"

"Full sail university." I said.

"Wow that's a pretty good school. What do you study?"

"Music business."

"Cool, so one day you'll be an awesome producer or something."

"Yeah." Maybe if I was actually telling the truth. I decided to change the subject.

"What do you do Edward?" I asked.

"I'm a student too. I'm studying to be a pediatrician." He said.

"Oh wow, that's great." I said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, my dad is a doctor so I just figured I'd follow in his footsteps. I know he's proud of me so that's a plus too." He said smiling.

"Yeah." I said quietly.

"Are you close to your parents?" He asked.

"My parents are dead." I said bluntly and uncaring.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I was never really close to them when they were alive so im fine. It's good that your close with your parents though, and Emmett. He seems really nice." I said changing the subject smoothly.

"Yeah Emmett's a great big brother, but he can be a little immature sometimes." He said with a smile on his face.

"He seems like the type." I commented with a small laugh. The ride stopped and we got off and walked towards the games.

"So what about your mom, does she work?" I asked trying to keep the attention on him.

"Yeah, she's an interior decorator." He said.

"Oh, sounds fun." I said.

"Sure. So what made you want to go into the music business?" He asked. I had to quickly think up a lie.

"Well my dad loved music and taught me how to play the guitar when I was about 6." That wasn't a lie. "When he died I wanted to do something to make him proud of me, so I decided to go into music and do something useful with my life." Now that was the lying part.

"Oh that's good. Were you and your father close?"

"Yes." I answered quietly. That wasn't a lie either. My father was my best friend (outside of Hayley and Tay.) I could always go to him for anything and he never judge me or get angry at me like my mother did.

Edwards hand brushed mine and it instantly comforted me, I liked the feeling. I looked up at him and he smiled at me and grabbed my hand. He laced his fingers through mine and I felt a tingle in my whole body. He made me feel things that I've never experienced before, and I loved it.

**EPOV**

The date with Bella was going alright so far, But it could be going better. I unknowingly brought up a sensitive subject with her about her parents and she shut down. I held her hand to try to bring her some comfort. Instantly when my skin touched hers I felt a strange sensation, it felt so good. She looked down at our linked hands then looked back up at me and smiled brightly.

"I'll make you a deal, if I win you at least three prizes then a second date with you is guaranteed." I told her.

"And if you don't?" She asked smirking.

"Then it's totally up to you weather you want to go on a second date with me or not." I said.

"Ok. I like that deal."

We walked over the ring toss game. I gave the guy a dollar and he gave me three rings. He explained to me that if I get a ring on a green bottle then I get the giant teddy bear, if I get it on the yellow bottle then I get a medium sized bear, and if I get one on the red bottle then I get a small bear. I threw the first ring and it spun off of a green bottle and landed in between the other bottles. I threw the second ring and it did exactly the same thing. I sighed in frustration and Bella giggled. I smiled then threw the last ring which latched onto a green bottle then spun down.

"And we have a winner." Said the guy running the game.

"Pick one out Bella." I said.

She smiled and pointed to a giant teddy bear that kinda looked like the one off of the snuggle commercial.

"Nice choice." I told her.

The guy took the bear down and handed it to Bella. We headed off to play other games. We asked random trivial questions about each other and I found out her middle name is maria, her favorite color varies depending on what mood she's in. I laughed at that and then she asked what my favorite color is.

"Brown." I answered her.

"Ew brown is such an ugly color." She said.

"All things brown aren't ugly."

"Name one pretty thing that's brown." She challenged.

"Your eyes." I answered staring into her beautiful milk chocolate eyes.

She blushed and looked down, away from my stare.

"Thanks." She replied softly.

The night continued like that and ended with her having four teddy bears varying in size.

"Do you want to get something to eat?" I asked as I started up the car.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry." She responded quickly, like it was rehearsed.

"Are you sure? We've been gone over four hours."

"Yeah I'm ok."

"Ok then. You want to give me directions to your place?"

"I'm going back to Hayley's house."

"Ok."

As I drove she looked through my iPod and commented on every song. We debated on weather Kings Of Leon were a like worthy band, She voted not really, I voted hell yes.

"What songs have you heard by them?" I asked.

"Umm I think it was called back down south."

"That's it? You judge a band off of one song. Listen to this." I scrolled through my play-list until I found the song I wanted. I clicked on the song closer and let it pour out of the speakers. By the time the song was done she had changed her opinion.

"Ok I was wrong. That was a really good song."

"I told you. Kings Of Leon is the shit." I said.

"Sure they are." She said laughing.

We pulled up in Hayley's drive way and I got out of the car to open her door. We strolled slowly to the front door of Hayley's house.

"I had a really nice time with you, and I believe you owe me a second date." I told her, eying her teddy bears.

"I had a nice time too, and I would love to do it again." She said smiling.

"Well I'll give you a call sometime."

"Ok."

I leaned down to give her a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Her skin was so fucking soft it made me want to jizz in my pants right there. When I pulled back she stared at me straight in my eyes and then grabbed me by my shirt and kissed me on the lips hard. I kissed her back with just as much passion. If I thought holding hands with her made me feel good then I must have been heaven. We pulled apart and looked into each others eyes until Hayley opened the door.

"Hey guys!" She said loudly which made both of us jump.

"Hey I'll be in, in a second." Bella said dismissively. Hayley closed the door a little but still left it cracked.

"Umm so I'll call you." I said.

"Yeah that sounds good." She agreed.

"Bye."

"Bye." She whispered then turned and walked into the house and closed the door behind herself. I walked back to my car in a complete daze. All I could think about was my lips on Bellas. Her lips were so soft and moist. That night I went to sleep thinking about those lips. I cant wait for the next time I get to have mine pressed against hers, I thought as I drifted to sleep.

**A/N**** Again I am sooooooo sorry it took me this long to update but I have been having some problems with my computer and I promise I will get chapters out to you more often. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 7

**A/N ****Wow, I am sooooo sorry I havent updated in so long. But I promise to try to update more often so please don't give up on this story.**

**Bpov**

I walked into Hayleys house after my date with Edward. I could still feel my lips tingling after my kiss with him. As I closed the door behind myself Hayley ran up to me with a wide grin on her pale face.

"So.." She said expectantly.

"What?" I answered back nonchalantly even though on the inside I was fucking ecstatic!

"Tell me about the date!" She yelled.

"Ok ok, calm down." I told her.

We walked into her living room to sit more comfortably so I could tell her about my date with Edward.

"Ok so as you already know he took me to the carnival which was actually more fun than I expected it to be. At first it was kinda shaky because he started asking me a bunch of questions like what do I do for a living and about my family…"

"And what did you tell him?" She asked anxiously.

"I told him I'm a student at full sail university and that my family is dead, I told him that you and Taylor are my only family."

"Oh, Partially true." She said.

"Well what did you want me to say? That I fuck random strangers for a living? Yeah that would have been a great way to start a life long relationship with someone." I said sarcastically.

"Well you cant start a relationship with a lie."

"What the fuck am I supposed to tell him then? Do you even want me to be with him? Or am I too fucked up to be with a normal person?" I asked even though I know Hayley doesn't think of me that way.

"Come on Bella. Why would you even say that? I want the very best for you. That's why I was so excited when you agreed to go on the date with Edward. He's a wonderful guy and I know he would treat you good. I want so badly for you to be safe and to be loved by someone. You don't deserve this life that you're living. You deserve so much better."

"I cant be normal Hayley. I cant have a loving husband and live in a safe environment. I don't deserve things like that. Im worthless."

"Bella that is not true."

"No? If its not true then why would my own mother tell me that? That im worthless and I'll never be anything! That's what she told me Hayley and look at me now. Living up to my mothers expectations. Not only is my own life fucked up but im ruining yours too! You and Taylor would be happily married if it wasn't for me! I'm so fucked up I cant even go a day without…" I stopped myself realizing I was about to tell her about my addiction.

"Without what Bella?" She asked cautiously.

"Without fucking somebody!" I lied.

"Bella.."

"No. Just take me home." I demanded.

Hayley complied and grabbed her car keys off of the coffee table. She led the way out to the car silently. The drive to my house was tense and quiet. I kept thinking about how wonderful this day was until I got back to hayleys house. I mean its not her fault the day was ruined I just don't deserve to have any type of good in life and this proves it. I should probably let Edward know that we wouldn't be going on anymore dates no matter how many bears he had won me. I didn't want to corrupt Edward. He seemed like such a good guy and deserves so much more than me and sooner or later he'll find out with I really do for a living and wouldn't want to be with me anyway. I didn't realize I was still wearing Hayleys clothes until she pulled up outside of my apartment building.

"I give you your clothes back later." I told her as I opened the car door.

"Wait Bella." She pleaded.

"What?"

"You know I don't blame you for what happened at the wedding." She stated.

"Well you should. Everything that went wrong that day was my fault and you know it was. don't lie to try to make me feel better." I told her as I got out of the car.

I walked up to the front door of my building and heard Hayleys car drive away. Once I was up in my apartment I stripped down to my underwear not even bothering to take a shower and climbed into bed. As I started drifting off the memories of Hayleys wedding day began to make themselves known.

_I looked at myself in the mirror after zipping my bridesmaid dress up. This is the best ive looked in ages, I thought to myself. I stared at my face and for the first time in a long time realized how pretty I am. My long brown hair tied up in an intricate bun. I glanced over at the clock realizing that if I didn't leave now I would be late for Hayleys wedding and couldn't have that, but I couldn't leave without first doing a couple shrooms. I went over to the stash of drugs I kept in the cabinet in my bathroom and grabbed the baggie of shrooms and took a few out and tossed them in my mouth. As I swallowed them down I could feel it already starting to kick in. I ran down the stairs of my apartment to my crappy car. As I drove to the church the effects of the shrooms really started. I could see spots of light and I started to hysterically laugh at nothing. My skin was tingling all over and I felt amazing as I walked into the church. I was glad to see that I wasn't late and that the ceremony hadn't started yet. I walked off to go find Hayley but I turned into the wrong room and walked in on Taylor getting dressed. He was just fastening the button on his dress pants as I walked into the room. He didn't have a shirt on and I could see the defined muscles of his chest and abs and I became instantly aroused. Even though Taylor was like a brother to me and I would never think of him in a sexual way (while I'm sober). _

"_Um hey Bella. What are you doing in here? shouldn't you be with Hayley since you're the maid of honor?" He asked innocently as I stared at his chest and abs._

"_No I came to find you." I said in a seductive tone as I started waling towards him._

"_Oh whats up? Do you need something?" _

"_I need you to fuck me." I told him._

_I could see the look of surprise on his face right before I attacked his lips with my own. I plunged my tongue into his mouth tasting the mint flavored gum he was chewing on. I moaned as I felt his hand around my waist but instead of pulling me closer he started pushing me away. I threw my arms around the back of him neck and clung to him still attacking his lips. I started to grind myself up against him, rubbing my crotch on his. I heard a gasp from the doorway and I let go of Taylor and spun around to see Hayley standing in the room looking breathtaking in her wedding dress. Her make-up was done so beautifully and her hair was twisted up into a bun with her veil hanging from the back of it. Everything was beautiful the only problem was the expression on her face. Her eyes had tears spilling from them as her bottom lip trembled. As I looked into her eyes I could see all the pain she was feeling but being as high as I was my reaction was no where near appropriate._

"_Hey." Was my brilliant response._

_She ran from the room to the main part of the church. Taylor grabbed a white t-shirt and ran after her. I giggled to myself when I saw Taylors ass as he ran after Hayley. I started walking towards where Hayley and Taylor had run off and I heard Hayley yell "The wedding is off!"_

_As I rounded the corner I could see Hayley standing near the back of the pews and Taylor standing near her pleading for her to come to the back room with him. Hayleys mother came and stood next to me._

"_Looks like their relationship isn't perfect after all." I said slurring my words._

_Hayley looked at me and started walking towards me. I saw her hand come up in a quick motion and slap me across the face which didn't feel like anything since my whole body was numb. I had just noticed how numb I felt and the surprise of it made me start laughing hysterically. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you bella?" Hayley yelled. _

_I just continued to laugh as people started to leave the church with whispers and stares._

"_I cant believe you would do this to me." She said with tears welling up in her eyes._

_I just stood there and stared at her. I had nothing to say._

I carried those memories with me into my dreams and dreamt about how I turned my best friends happiest day into one of her saddest days.

**A/N ****I hope you liked it! Im sooo sorry for the late update! Ill be quicker from now on! ****REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 8

**A/N**** Hey Here's another chapter!**

**Epov**

It had been four days since my date with Bella and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I had been so busy over the past few days with school that I hadn't even called her. I hope she's not thinking that I had a bad time on our date. That was one of the best dates I've ever had, well in the beginning it wasn't that good. When Bella told me that her family was dead it shocked me to say the least. I felt so bad for bringing it up, but the thing that shocked me the most was how uncaring she seemed when she said her family was dead. My first response was to think bad of her but then I realized that maybe she had problems with her family. It also made me feel a bit grateful that I had such a wonderful family.

I got up from my bed to go into the living room to watch some TV so I could take my mind off of things. Flipping through the channels I decided to watch some golf. Even though it didn't really interest me I figured if I tried to learn more about the way its played then it would keep my mind off Bella. It didn't work. After ten minutes of trying to figure out the scoring system I stood up from the couch and went into my bedroom to get my phone.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand where it was charging and I noticed I had one text message from Emmett. I decided to read it later and I scrolled down to Bella's name in my contacts and hit call. The phone rang four times and I thought she wasn't going to answer. I pulled the phone away from my ear to hang up but then I heard Bella answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella, Its Edward."

"Oh hey." She said slowly.

"Sorry I haven't called earlier, but I was really busy with school." I told her. I could hear her sniffle several times while I was talking and wondered if she had a cold.

"Its ok. I was busy too." She said. Her words were slow and slurred.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah dude im great." She said with a giggle.

"Oh that's good. Do you want to meet up for some lunch or something today?" I said nervously.

"Uhh how 'bout dinner. That gives me enough time to get myself together." I didn't really know what she meant by that but I didn't question.

"Sure that sounds good. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Hell yeah your car is awesome!" She said loudly making me laugh.

"Ok where do you live?"

"Oh just go to Hayleys house."

"Ok."

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"Uhhh we can go to this really nice steakhouse I know of."

"Ok so I should wear something fancy?"

"Wear a dress." I told her while laughing.

"Ok Edward I'll see you later. You should come at around 7:30."

"Sure that's good for me."

"Bye Bye." She said, giggling again.

"Goodbye." I said with a smile.

Her laugh was beautiful. I was so glad I met her. Before Bella for about five years my days were spent going to school, watching tv, occasionally hanging out with Emmett, being hit on by slutty girls, and jacking off. I wasn't saying that now that I've met Bella that I'll have a free pass for sex whenever but I have a better chance at having sex with an actual human instead of my hand. To be honest I'll probably jack off more now thinking about all the things I want to do with Bella. I've probably jacked off more in the last week to thoughts of Bella than I have in the last year. An alert from my phone brought me out of my inappropriate thoughts of Bella. Looking at my phone I see I have a second text message from Emmett when I realize I haven't read or responded to the first one.

EMMETT: Wanna double date? You and Bella, Me and Rose.

EMMETT: Hello?

EDWARD: No. I'm having dinner with Bella tonight. Alone.

I sent the text, called and made reservations at the restaurant for eight o'clock and sat the phone back down on the night stand and went into the bathroom to shower. I didn't want to share my date, Emmett could be really embarrassing sometimes and this was only my second date with Bella. I didn't want to scare her off. While I showered I couldn't help but think about my date tonight with Bella. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't realize I had been in the shower for twenty minutes and my skin was pruning. I shut off the water, wrapped a towel around my waist and went back into my room to put on some clothes. I decided to just put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt until later on. I didn't want to get my clothes dirty or wrinkled. To pass the time until the date I went into my music room and grabbed my guitar. I strummed a couple of random note but ended up playing the song "Talihina Sky" by Kings of Leon. I spent about two hours just playing whatever came to my mind. I realized every song I had played reminded me of Bella in some way. I just couldn't get her out of my head. I still had three hours until I had to pick Bella up from Hayleys house so I went into my room set an alarm on my phone and laid back on the pillows, letting my drowsiness drag me into a dreamless sleep. I woke up and looked out of the window to see the sun starting to set behind the clouds. I grabbed my phone off of the night stand and looked at the time.

"Shit!" It was 7:20 and I still had to get ready. I jumped up from my bed and ran over to my closet grabbing a white button down shirt and a pair of black slacks. I left the black t-shirt I was wearing on underneath the white button down. I slid my sweats off and put on the slacks. After putting on a pair of socks I grabbed some black dress shoes and slipped them onto my feet. Not really having enough time to do anything with my hair I just ran my fingers through it get rid of the tangles and knots. Lastly I sprayed myself with some cologne, grabbed my keys and cell phone and ran to my car. The drive to Hayleys house was only about ten minutes and it was now 7:30 so I wouldn't be that late. I was relived that there was no traffic so I got to Hayleys house in about seven minutes instead of ten. I walked up to the door and rang the bell. Hayley answered the door, greeting me with a smile and stepped to let me into the house. Bella came around the corner and stood in the door frame, staring at me. She looked so beautiful. She was dressed in a short strapless black dress with high heels. She had light make-up on and her hair was up in a high ponytail. She looked absolutely stunning except I've never noticed how skinny she is. She's always worn t-shirts when I've seen her but now I can see her collar bones and how they kind of stick out. Another thing is she has dark circles under her eyes and her eyes look glassy and very red as well as her nose. Maybe she does have a cold, I thought to myself remembering her sniffling on the phone earlier.

"Hey." She said softly, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Hi. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah just let me grab my sweater."

She disappeared into another room for a few seconds returning with a black sweater in her hand.

"See you later Hayley." She said as we walked out of the door.

I walked to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for Bella just as I did on our first date. As she walked past me to get into the car she bushed up against me and her hip rubbed my cock. It was difficult for me to keep from showing just how much I liked that but I didn't want her to think that I was just dating her to get into her pants. I walked over to the driver side of the car and got in. As soon as I closed my door Bella put her hand on my thigh and whispered in my ear.

"We're going to have fun tonight." She said with a sly smile on her lips.

I felt my cock twitch and I hoped her definition of fun was the same as mine.

**Bpov ****Earlier that day**

Four days. I haven't seen or heard from Edward in four days. Maybe he had come to his senses and realized that I'm just a whore and he can do much better than me. I'll never be worthy of dating or being with someone like Edward. He's too good for me. That thought got me really depressed really fast, but I'm not just going to lay in bed and cry about it. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a box off of the top shelf. I carried the box over to the chair in the corner and spread out four lines of coke on the table in front of me. In the middle of me snorting the third line up my nose my phone started ringing. I was going to ignore it but then I looked over and saw Edwards name on the screen. I answered the phone and I didn't realize how fucking high I was until I started talking to him. I hope he wouldn't notice. I felt giddy when he asked me on our second date and this time I remembered to ask him where we were going but then I wished I hadn't. He decided that we were going to some fancy restaurant and I didn't have any fucking money which meant I was going to have to do a few jobs. I knew Edward would probably pay for everything but I didn't want to just assume. I finished going through my last line then got up to go into the bathroom to shower. Fifteen minutes later I was dressed and ready for "work". I still hadn't found a customer to replace Jacob yet so I had been a little short on money lately. Instead of going to the corner today I went straight into the coffee shop where Mike worked. I saw a smile spread across his face when I entered the shop, but I wasn't there for him. He gets minimum wage and I need a lot of money quick and Mike tends to take long.

"Hi Bella."

"Hi. Is Mr. Granger in?" I asked.

"Umm yeah… why?"

"Because I want to talk to him, so just go get him."

"Ok jeez." He said as he walked towards the back of the store.

Mr. Granger came out of the back of the store with his car keys in his hands.

"I was just going to call you." He told me.

"Oh were you? Well I guess its good that I decided to come early." I said with a wink.

I followed him out of the store to his car. We took a short drive to this sleazy motel around the corner from the shop. Without words we got out of the car, got a key and went into one of the rooms. After closing and locking the door behind him he turned towards me and ordered me to take my clothes off as he sat on the bed and watched me. I took my time stripping my clothes off for him and from the look on his face and the bulge in his pants he liked every second of it.

"Come here." He commanded.

I walked towards where he was sitting and straddled his lap. He grabbed my ass roughly causing me to let out a small yelp which just made him squeeze harder.

"I want you to ride my dick." He said.

I started undoing his pants and slid them down his legs as he unwrapped a condom and rolled it over his hard dick. I lined myself up with him and slid down slowly. He tilted his head back and moaned loudly. I started moving up and down slowly at first but gaining speed as his moans grew louder.

"Yeah, I love watching your tits bounce as you ride my dick." he said in between his moans.

"I'm almost there. Come with me." I lied to make this process faster. I never reached orgasm when doing a job. I've never really wanted to. He started thrusting upward into me erratically.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed as he finished.

I got off of his lap and started to put my clothes back on. He laid in the bed trying to catch his breath while I slipped my pants back on.

"Did you come?" He asked.

"Yes." I said with a fake smile, he always paid more if I finished.

"Good."

He got up from the bed and started to put his pants back on as well. After buttoning his pants he handed me two one-hundred dollar bills, that should do for dinner. We went back out to his car and I realized we were only in there for about forty minutes, that was fine though. It would give my more time to get ready for the date.

Mr. Granger dropped me off at my apartment and I got out of the car and went inside.

I changed into more appropriate clothes to go over to Hayleys house, putting on just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I called Hayley after I pulled the shirt over my head.

"Hey Bella!" She answered in a peppy voice.

"Hey Hayley. I've got good news." I said.

"Oh, I love good news! What is it?"

"I have another date with Edward."

"Oh my god! I'm so happy for you Bella!" She said and I could hear the happiness in her voice.

After our little argument that happened a few days ago, I felt really guilty for blowing up at her like I had so the next day I'd called her and apologized. Of course she'd forgiven me and we'd spent the rest of the day watching movies at her place.

"Would you come pick me up?" I asked her after I came out of my thoughts.

"Of course. Ill be there soon."

"Okay see you then." I said then hung up the phone.

To pass the time waiting for Hayley to come I sat in my small living room and watched cartoons on my ancient TV. Watching cartoons while I'm high is my favorite pass time. After watching two episodes of adventure time and laughing my ass off I got a text from Hayley saying that she was downstairs. I grabbed my things and went downstairs to her car.

"Hey." She greeted me.

"Hey." I said back with a smile.

"So do you know where you're going this time?" She asked.

"Yes. We're going to a fancy steakhouse." I told her.

"Oh good, so now we know what you have to wear and yes you can borrow one of my dresses." She said.

"Thanks babe." I smiled.

We got to her house in no time and immediately started working on getting me dressed. I decided to wear a short, strapless black dress and black heels and just a little make-up. Hayley helped me curl my hair and then pull it up into a high ponytail. After we were done I went into the bathroom and did another line just to calm my nerves.

I heard the front door open and I looked at my phone to check the time, it was 7:40 so that would be Edward coming to pick me up. At that thought I did one more line, cleaned my nose off and left the bathroom. Edward looked so damn hot dressed up. He ran his fingers through his hair as he stood there looking at me, it reminded me of when we kissed and I ran my fingers through his soft hair. I want to kiss him again tonight. I want to do more than kiss. My thoughts are going everywhere right now.

"Hey." I kinda whispered.

"Hi. Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah just let me grab my sweater." I told him then walked back into Hayley's room to get my black cardigan. I came back out, said goodbye to Hayley and left the house. Being the gentleman that he is, Edward opened the passenger side door for me and I accidentally brushed up against him as I got into the car. I heard a small gasp come from him and it made me want to jump him right there but I controlled myself, instead when he got in the car I placed my hand on his thigh and told him that we are going to have fun tonight. I definitely plan on showing him just how much fun I can be.

**A/N ****I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will try to update more frequently. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	8. Chapter 9

**A/N I got a new computer so I should be able to make frequent updates. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Epov**

"Your waiter will be with you shortly." Said the host who showed us to a small booth towards the back of the restaurant.

"Thank you." I said as he walked away.

I looked up at Bella who was already looking at me. She had an intense look in her eyes, it aroused me. I had been planning on asking her something but the look on her face had me drawing a blank. My eyes darted to her mouth as her tongue moistened her lips. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to take her back to my apartment right now and kiss her and undress her and make love to her. My own thoughts surprised me. I had never referred to having sex as making love but I didn't want to fuck Bella. I wanted to cherish her body. I wanted to caress her soft skin and plant kisses all over her body. I wanted to make her feel loved.

I took my eyes off of her lips to look back into her eyes. The look in her eyes was different. It was no longer an intense sexual look, but it was a sad and somewhat angry look. I was just about to ask her what had upset her so suddenly but the waitress had come to the table to take our orders.

"I'm Amber and I'll be your waitress for tonight. Can I start you two off with some drinks?" she asked.

"Yes I'll have a glass of water please." I told her.

"Same." Bella simply responded.

"Ok I'll be right back with that." She said with a smile.

After the waitress walked away I looked at Bella again. The look of sadness was gone but I still wanted to make sure she was feeling alright.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm perfect." She said.

"Good. So how has everything been? How are your classes?" I responded trying to start a conversation.

"Umm pretty good I guess. No complaints. How about you?" She said while looking down at her menu.

"They're going good, although I do get pretty bored with my everyday routine from time to time." I told her.

"Yeah I hear you."

"Here are your drinks. Can I get you an appetizer?" Asked the waitress.

"Do you want an appetizer Bella?"

"Not really. We can just order dinner now." She said.

"Alright well what would you like?" The waitress asked Bella.

"I'll just have the filet with mashed potatoes and vegetables."

"I'll have the same." I said.

"And how would you like your steak?"

"Rare." We responded at the same time. I smiled a little.

"Alright! Your order will be right out." She put her small note pad in her apron and walked away.

We started to ask each other more trivial questions throughout dinner. She asked where I was born and I asked how old she was when she had her first kiss. She hesitated a bit at that but answered with fifteen. I wondered why my question had tripped her up. I had asked several questions that seemed to make her uncomfortable but she didn't refuse to answer them she just got quiet and her eyes would glaze over as she escaped into her thoughts. I would be more careful in my questioning to make sure I didn't upset her but I didn't know what was upsetting her. I decided music would be a good topic to discuss without upsetting her.

"So what kind of music do you like?" I asked after swallowing my last bit of potatoes.

"I like all kinds of music. I don't have a computer or an iPod though so I usually just listen to what Hayley listens to in the car and at her house." She told me.

"Oh ok. I remember you said you play guitar. Do you write songs?"

"I used to. I haven't played in a very long time, I'm not sure if I still can."

"I could reteach you if you'd like." I offered. She smiled.

"I'd love that. I didn't know you could play. Do you play any other instruments?"

"Yeah I play piano too. I started playing piano when I was four and guitar at five."

"How are we doing over here? Do you need some containers?" The waitress asked.

"Yes." Bella responded.

"I'll be right back with the containers and your bill." She said then walked away.

I had noticed that Bella didn't eat her food. While we were talking she would move the food around on her plate, taking small bites here and there. I once again wondered how she was feeling.

"Are you sure you feel alright? You've barely eaten." I asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah I feel great I'm just not that hungry. I'll save it for later though."

The waitress brought the containers and the bill, I paid and we left.

"Wow it's only nine thirty." I said as I started my car. "Do you want to umm go back to my place and we could watch a movie or we could play around on my guitars for a bit or I could just take you home or to Hayley's house if…"

"Edward! I'd love to go back to your place and spend more time with you. We've only spent an hour and a half together, that's not a proper date." She said with a sly smile. I wondered what she had going on in that pretty little head of hers and I couldn't wait to find out.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked with a smirk.

"Just a penny? I think I'm worth a nickel, at least." She laughed.

I knew she was making a joke but something about her tone made me think that her self-esteem wasn't that high.

"You're priceless." I told her as I placed my hand on top of hers. "At _least_." I added.

She looked down at our hands and smiled. I could see her cheeks redden under the light of the waning moon.

"You're sweet." She said in a soft voice.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked quietly.

"I haven't known you for long but you're a really great guy. I've never met anyone like you and I don't want to fuck things up with you. Even though I know I will." She said sadly.

"Why do you think that Bella?"

"I _know_ it. I always fuck everything up. I'm a fucked up person." She said as she removed her hand from beneath mine.

"Don't say that Bella. I don't know you that well but from what you told me it sounds like you haven't had the easiest life. Bella, you're a good person." I grabbed her hand and interlocked our fingers.

"I'm not but thank you for saying so."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm not normal. I'm not good for you Edward. Actually I'm tired. Please take me back to Hayley's."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I'm just tired." She pulled her hand out of mine. My hand was instantly cold from the loss of her warmth.

The restaurant was closer to Hayley's house than mine so we got there in no time. I hadn't even stopped the car all the way when Bella pushed her door open and quickly exited the car. I put the car in park and got out after her. She was almost to the front door when I grabbed her arm.

"Please Bella I'm sorry for whatever I said to make you upset. I don't want to end our night like this."

"Listen Edward, I'm just not good for you. I shouldn't have agreed to go out with you in the first place. Please don't call or text. I don't want to see you again." She forcefully pulled her arm out of my grasp. Before I had a chance to say anything she was already on the other side of the door.

Fuck! Had things with Bella ended before they could even begin?

**A/N I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I didn't have a computer. Just a short chapter to get us started back up. PLEASE COMMENT!**


	9. Chapter 10

**Bpov**

I'm a fucking idiot. Why did I think I could ever make anything work with Edward? He was perfect. He was gorgeous, funny, nice, and financially stable. I would never be good enough for him, even if I stopped turning tricks and doing drugs. I still wouldn't be good for him. There were only two things that would happen if I continued to go out with Edward. One; our relationship would get more serious and we would have a relationship built off of lies, he would eventually find out and leave me. Two; I would tell him the truth about my fucked up life and he would leave me. Either way, we wouldn't be together and I knew that so I had to end it before he did.

After I told Edward I didn't want to see him anymore I went into Hayley's house and collapsed on the couch. Hayley and Taylor came out of their bedroom into the living room and sat on either side of me.

"So how was your date?" Hayley asked with a smile.

"Fine."

"Just fine? You've only been out for an hour. Is everything alright Bella?" Taylor said.

"Yes everything is fine. I'm tired. Please take me home." I begged.

"Umm ok. Let me get my keys." Hayley responded. She went into the other room to retrieve her keys and Taylor just stared at me.

"What?" I asked irritably.

"I'm so happy you've finally found someone that you care about. You're so important to me and Hayley and we just want you to be as happy as we are. You're an incredible person Bella, hopefully Edward sees that and doesn't mess things up with you."

I didn't respond, instead I stared at my hands resting in my lap. I know Hayley and Taylor cared about me and only wanted me to be happy. It didn't matter though because I don't deserve happiness. Just like my mother always told me, I was worthless and unlovable. I didn't plan on telling them that I had already fucked things up with Edward because that would only make them more disappointed in me. They would figure it out when they saw that I wasn't going on anymore dates. Hayley came back into the room with her car keys dangling from her finger.

"Come on." She said to me. "Be right back baby." She told Taylor.

"Goodnight Bella." Taylor said then walked over to Hayley and kissed her. I turned my head as they kissed. Seeing them kiss, or any couple, always made me feel a bit nauseous. I wanted that. I wanted someone to come home to me every day with a kiss and a loving look in their eye. I wanted Edward. But I don't deserve him.

I was glad that the car ride had passed in silence and that Hayley decided not to play twenty questions tonight. I could tell that she wanted to ask me something but I guess she could tell that I didn't want to be bothered. When we pulled up at my building I got out without saying goodbye. I walked up the stairs trying not to breathe through my nose to avoid the mildew smell of the hallway. I sighed as I sat down on my old worn out couch and pulled my kit out of my purse. I had about a line of coke left but no weed. I didn't really want to have a coke high right now. I just wanted to relax and not think about anything and I knew if I did the coke my thoughts would be racing and I wouldn't be able to sit down for more than a minute. I did the one line of coke, to make me numb long enough to do what I needed to do to get the pot, then exited my apartment and walked up one flight of stairs to the first door on the third floor. Before I had a chance to knock the door swung open. A man with dark skin and long dreadlocks came out of the apartment.

"Excuse me." He said with a thick accent.

I stepped out of his way and he walked down the stairs without a second glance my way. I went into the apartment and closed the door behind me.

"James!" I called out. He came out of the kitchen and looked at me with a knowing smirk. I looked at his bright blue, almost white, eyes and saw how bloodshot they were. He was really high so I knew this wouldn't take long.

"How much you want?" He asked.

"Two and a half g's."

"That's it?"

I nodded.

"Alright." He said and pointed to the floor in front of him.

I walked over to him and kneeled down, taking his pants with me. I worked his soft dick in my hand until he became hard. As soon as I covered him with my mouth he moaned loudly. I looked up at him while I swirled my tongue around his tip. He was looking down at me, his long blonde hair making a curtain around his face. I closed my eyes again focusing on my task. Using one hand to stroke the base of his cock and the other hand to cup his balls I knew I would have him coming in no time. He grabbed the back of my head and thrust gently into my mouth as he came. I had always found it funny that his cum tasted a bit like pot, I wondered if I swallowed enough would I get high. The thought made me giggle and James looked at me and just laughed.

"Come on." He said while pulling up his pants and still laughing. I didn't know what he was laughing at and it didn't matter because we were both high, we didn't need a reason to laugh.

I followed him into him kitchen where the jars of pot were endless.

"What kinda high you lookin for?" He asked while pressing some buttons on his scale.

"Couch lock."

"I got somethin real good for that." He walked over to one of his cabinets opening it to reveal more jars of bud.

"This shits called 'point of no return.' It'll get you real relaxed. Just make sure you ain't got shit to do." He said while weighing out my grams.

"I don't." I told him.

"It has a nice sweet taste to it too. Taste real good with these fruit punch papers I got. I'll give those to you free of charge since you're such a cutie." He said as he tapped my nose with his index finger.

"Thanks." I said with a little giggle.

He put the pot in a little zip lock baggie and handed it to me along with the papers that he promised. I put both items in the pocket of my hoodie and walked towards the front door with James behind me.

"See ya later Bella gator." He said as he closed and locked the door.

I laughed to myself as I walked down the stairs. James was a pretty cool guy, I'm sure it was because he was stoned _all_ the time. I walked back into my apartment and went into my bedroom to grab my grinder from my bedside table drawer. After rolling two joints I went into the kitchen to get some snack because I knew I wouldn't want to get up after I smoked. I grabbed the family sized bag of cool ranch doritos that were sitting on the counter and got the two liter bottle of brisk fruit punch out of my fridge. I loved this shit. My couch made a groaning noise as I sat down and turned my tv on to cartoon network. Since it was so late adult swim was on and they were playing family guy which was ok with me because I found just about everything funny when I was high. I could be sitting in my room staring at the wall and I would still find something to laugh at.

Edward's face popped into my head as I was lighting the joint and I thought about how much I was going to miss him. There was just something about being around him that made me feel incredible. When we kissed after our first date it was better than any high I've ever had. Having his soft lips pressed against mine made my whole body tingle. I felt like no one could ever hurt me while I was in his arms, like how I felt when I did my first line of coke. He was my drug, and I was addicted. I knew then that I wouldn't be able to stop seeing him, even though I knew it wouldn't end well. I knew it would end eventually though. I would call him tomorrow to tell him that I was sorry for how I acted and that I didn't mean what I said but for now, I had two joints that needed to be smoked.

This shit was good. I could feel it start to work right after the first hit. James was right, the taste was great. After the first joint I was already high as fuck but I still had another joint to go and I was never one to waste. By the time I was done with the second joint I could barely see. If it weren't for the fact that I was laughing my ass of at everything on tv then I would've thought that my eyes were completely closed. The back of my head was incredibly fuzzy and there were no complete thoughts in my mind. My entire body was tingling and I didn't want to move a muscle, until I remembered I had snacks. I was half way through the huge bag of chips when I remembered I had an 'emergency' stash of shrooms. I was gonna trip so fucking hard. I got up to go get the shrooms out of my bathroom but as soon as I stood up my high hit another level. I couldn't feel my fucking face or teeth, for some reason that was the funniest thing in the world to me. I stood in my living room laughing at nothing for ten minutes until I remembered why I stood up. I walked to my bathroom, or floated because I couldn't feel my feet, and got the shrooms from the cabinet under my sink. I took them back to my couch and popped two caps in my mouth. This was gonna be a long amazing night.

**A/N hope you enjoyed it! REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 11

**A/N I haven't been getting reviews but I have been getting a lot of people following this story so I know there's actually people reading haha. **

**Epov**

Bella.

I couldn't stop thinking about her and what she meant when she repeatedly told me that she wasn't good for me. There weren't many girls that I'd met that I was interested in, in fact there were none. Except Bella. After she told me she didn't want to see me anymore I had drove home in a daze, her words repeating in my head. Why did she think so low of herself? To me she was an incredible person. She made me feel things I had never felt before in the short time that I had known her. When I saw her my stomach flutter and my breath would stop. I didn't understand the way she made me feel but I liked it. I wasn't gonna give up on her but I didn't know what I was going to do to get her back.

I parked my car in the garage and went to the elevator. I entered my apartment and flicked the lights on. I was feeling lonely and stressed. I knew I wouldn't sleep that well tonight and that would make me irritable in class tomorrow. I went into my bedroom and grabbed my bong and the little baggie that I keep my pot in from my closet. I didn't smoke a lot, maybe once a week. I had only started smoking when I got to college. My classes could be extremely stressful and sometimes I just needed something to help me unwind. I went back into my living room and sat on my couch. After scrolling through my songs on my ipod I settled on 'teardrop' by massive attack and put it on repeat, this was a great song to smoke to. I sat my ipod in the dock then packed the bong. The bubbling sound from the bong drowned out the music so I turned the volume all the way up. As I continued to take large hits, and nearly coughing up a lung, my mind would not stray from thoughts of Bella. Even though I had seen her not even an hour ago I was missing her already. The palms of my hands itched as I longed to feel her soft skin, and my lips tingled as I remembered our first and only kiss. I had thought about calling Hayley and asking her about Bella, but I decided not to.

I was startled by a loud banging at my door. I had been lost in my thoughts and the sound almost made me piss my pants. I looked through the peephole to insure that it wasn't the cops coming to drag my away for my criminal activities. I felt incredibly giddy as I opened the door to reveal my best friend.

"Alice!" I yelled as I picked her up and spun her around.

"Edward!" She yelled back with a giggle.

"I'm so happy you're back!"

"Oh it was only two week you pansy. Also you smell like pot, have you been smoking without me?" She asked as she stepped around me into my apartment.

"Yeah, but I have so much to tell you."

"Ok you talk and I'll pack another bong."

Alice smoked a lot more than me, at least once a day. She was the one who suggested I start after I would come to her complaining about my stressful classes. We would have sessions once a week and vent to each other about our troubles. I missed her while she was away in Paris. Alice majored in fashion and apparently this trip was a necessity for her. She turned the music down then sat on the couch and I sat next to her.

"So what's up?" She asked.

"I met someone."

"Really? No way."

"Really. She's wonderful, but she doesn't want to see me anymore."

"How did you fuck up already Edward?" She asked incredulously.

"I didn't fuck up! I really like her but she just kept telling me that she wasn't good for me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know. I tried to ensure her that she was good for me but she doesn't think very highly of herself."

"Well tell me about her."

"Ok, her name is Bella, she's really beautiful. She's funny….. Fuck I'm high."

"That's ok, take your time." She laughed.

"Just know that she's great."

"So why doesn't she think that?"

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think it has something to do with her past. She hasn't told me much but I know that her family is dead. Her best friend, Hayley, is her only family."

"Wait, Hayley Williams?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I think I've met her before."

"Of course you met Hayley, you introduced me to her."

"Not Hayley, Bella." She said, in between taking hits from the bong.

"Oh really? Where have you guys met?"

"Well not actually met, but I think I saw her at Hayley and Taylor's wedding. The day that they were supposed get married, rather."

"I never knew they were gonna get married. Why didn't they?"

"I think Bella crashed their wedding. I didn't see it myself, but I heard that she kissed Taylor right before the ceremony was supposed to start and Hayley saw. I did see when Hayley came out on the alter yelling that the wedding was off. Hayley's maid of honor, which I'm assuming was Bella since that's her best friend, was standing behind her and I saw her whisper something to Hayley's mom. Hayley turned around and slapped the shit out of Bella and all she did was laugh really hard. I always thought she was high, not on pot, but like shrooms or ecstasy. That's the only thing that would make her act like that." She told me as I listened incredulously.

Bella told me that Taylor was like a big brother to her, she wouldn't kiss him. Also, Hayley was her best friend, she wouldn't hurt Hayley like that.

"No I don't think Bella would do something like that. I told you she said Hayley and Taylor are her only family. She wouldn't do that to them."

"If she was tripped out on something she would. I've seen people do a lot of crazy things while on drugs. It would surprise you."

"Well, what did she look like?" I asked, still not believing that it was Bella.

"She had brown hair, which was in a bun so I couldn't tell the length. It looked like she had black eyes but maybe that was just her dilated pupils. She was kinda pale and skinny but still pretty. I'm pretty sure it was her Edward." If what Alice was telling me was true then did that mean Bella does drugs, or _did_ drugs?

"When was this?" I asked.

"Like two years ago."

So it wasn't recent, but I still couldn't help but think that this was what Bella meant when she said she wasn't good for me. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask Bella, but first I had to get her to talk to me again.

**A/N I have all these people following this story, but I never get any reviews! PLEASE review this chapter and tell me what you think will happen next. **


	11. Chapter 12

**A/N**** When I get reviews it makes me excited to write more. Give more reviews! Thanks :)**

**Bpov**

Just like I knew I would, I'd stayed up all night just staring at things. When I felt like I had tripped enough for that night I went into my bathroom and got some Xanax out of the cabinet. I took the medicine with the rest of the brisk that was left on the table then spent another fifteen minutes starting at the designs on the fruit punch bottle. The Xanax started to kick in and I went into my bedroom to lie in my bed. The medicine made me feel like I was melting into the bed. Xanax has a totally different effect on the body than shrooms does, but when it comes to the mental effects it kinda just boosts the shrooms. I laid in my bed for an hour with my eyelids fluttering because I didn't want to go to sleep and miss the pretty 'light show' that was playing on my wall. Right before I had fallen asleep I looked at the clock and it read 5:47am. The numbers got blurry as I drifter off into a very heavy sleep.

All of the drugs I had done that day contributed to one of the most realistic, vivid dreams I have ever had. Since the only thing that had been on my mind all day was Edward, he was what I dreamt of. We were in a big house, it was the house I had always pictured when I thought of where Edward might live. He was holding me close to him. So close I could feel all of the heat coming off of his body, even through his clothes. He looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me over and over again. One of his hands that were resting on my lower back came up to caress my face. His eyes were so vibrant as they stared into me. I felt like he could see every inch of me, all the pain I had ever endured, the little bit of joy I had experienced, and the love I felt whenever I was around him.

"Bella, I love you. Stay with me. I'll never let anyone hurt you." He told me as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I don't deserve you Edward. I'm bad." I whispered without looking away from his smoldering eyes.

"No love, you're mine and I need you."

His hand slid down my shoulder to the top of my ass and he grabbed the hem of my shirt. He pulled my shirt above my head and his eyes left mine to look at my partially nude torso.

"So beautiful." He whispered.

I raised my hands to his collar and started unbuttoning his shirt. The soft fabric slid down his muscular shoulders and to the ground. He picked me up in one swift motion and carried me to a bedroom with a huge bed in it. He pressed his lips to mine as he started walking towards the bed. His lips were incredibly soft and warm. His kisses started to travel lower, down my neck to my cleavage as he lowered me onto the bed. His long fingers tickled up my spine to unclasp bra. His kisses continued as my bra fell from my chest. I could feel his tongue dart out to meet my skin while his mouth got closer to the more sensitive part of my breast. I gasped when I felt his warm mouth cover my nipple and his tongue dance around as he hollowed out his cheeks, sucking more of my breast into his mouth. Unfortunately he was paying no attention to the lower half of my body so I rubbed my legs together desperately trying to give myself some friction. He swung his leg over mine and stopped me from moving my legs.

"I'm getting there." He smiled.

He continued to kiss lower and lower on my body until he got to the top of my pants. After removing my pants and underwear quickly he kissed up the inside of my thigh. He was going incredibly slow making me lose my mind but also making me amazingly aroused with every second. Finally getting to spot where I wanted him to be, he slowly pushed my legs apart placing a single kiss on my clit. I almost lost it right there. He stuck his tongue out swirling it around making me squirm under him. His hand traveled up my thigh while he still worked his tongue. His finger entered me quickly causing me to cry out in pleasure. The combination of his tongue slowly moving around and his finger quickly penetrating me was bringing me close to an orgasm.

"So tight." He said, then closed his lips around my clit and hummed in a deep voice. I felt the vibrations all through my body. No one had ever made me feel the way Edward was making me feel. Incredible. I was getting closer and closer to my release when he stopped suddenly.

"No don't stop baby please." I begged.

"I want to be inside you love. I want to feel you."

I straddled him and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his underwear and threw them to the ground. He grabbed me by my hips and flipped us over so he was on top. He looked into my eyes as he pushed inside me. I hadn't noticed how big he was until he was inside me, filling me up. I felt so close to him, and so incredibly good. Completely blissed out. His thrusts were slow but forceful. Making me cry out with every movement. One of my hands scratched down his back while the other one tugged at his soft hair.

"Bella." He continuously whispered as he made love to me.

Never have I ever felt like this while having sex with someone, but I knew the reason why. This wasn't just sex. He was making love to me, I could feel it with every thrust. I could feel his heart throbbing in his chest and I'm sure he could feel mine since we were so close to each other. His thrusts were getting fast and I could feel myself getting closer to an orgasm.

"Baby, I love you." I gasped as a came.

I could feel his body tense up and feel the warmth of him coming inside me.

"I love you, I love you." He repeated.

After our breaths had slowed down he raised his head from my shoulder to look into my eyes again.

"Bella, I'll never leave you. I love you. You deserve me."

I kissed him hard and put all the love I felt for him into that kiss. He rolled off of me to lie beside me and intertwined out fingers together. I looked up at the ceiling and there was a mirror there. Suddenly I could no longer feel Edwards hand in mine, and he was not in the bed with me anymore. Taking his place next to me was a random man that I could not recall ever seeing.

"That was great." The man said as he stood up and threw money at me.

I could not remove my eyes from the mirror and I started to notice how skinny I looked. As I stared at myself I could see my eyes sink deeper into my head, and all my bones start to look more prominent. Suddenly I was not laying in the bed anymore, I was leaning over a table with a reflective surface that had at least twenty lines of coke spread out on it. Almost as if it were my natural instincts I covered one of my nostrils with my index finger and started going through the lines. I was going alarmingly fast and could not stop myself. I could see myself wasting away in the refection of the table, beginning to look more corpse-like. My nose was burning and my eyes were watering. I wanted to stop myself from snorting the lines but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but move back and forth over the table to snort the lines up. Everything got dark for a second then I opened my eyes. I was laying in the middle of my living-room floor staring at my ceiling. I got up and walked over to the mirror that hung in my hall-way. I no longer looked like a zombie but my skin had taken on a sickeningly pale color. I could hear a sniffling sound coming from behind and I turned around to see Hayley sitting on the floor holding my limp body. The body that she was holding looked like a corpse that had been dead long over a month. The eyes sunk deeply into the head and the body no more than skin and bones.

"Please Bella come back. Come back." She cried.

"I'm here Hayley! I'm right here!" I yelled, but her head stayed down and the tears continued to pour down her face.

I kneeled beside her and reached out to touch her but my hand went right through her body.

"I'm here Hayley! I'm here!" I repeated over and over, but she never heard me.

My eyes snapped open and I sat up in my bed quickly. My breaths coming fast and sweat dripping from my body. I looked over at the clock on my bedside table and it said 1:24am. That meant I slept through a whole day. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened. My heart hammered in my chest as my dream played over in my head. I was so scared and I didn't know why. I'd had frightening dreams before but they hadn't affected me like this for some reason. I got up out of my bed and changed from my sweat soaked clothes. I craved another person's company desperately. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to lay on Hayley's couch with my head in her lap and my feet in Taylor's lap. I wanted to be around the only people who I knew loved me. So I went to them. I didn't want to call anyone this late and I didn't mind the walk. I got to their house in twenty-five minutes and stood on their porch for five more minutes before knocking. Taylor came to the door with Hayley not far behind him. Their eyes tired and their hair messy.

"Bella what's wrong?" Taylor asked, his face changing from sleepy and slightly irritated to concerned.

"Nothing I just… I need you guys." I told them.

Taylor opened the door wider, inviting me in. Hayley grabbed my hand and lead me to their couch. Hayley sat and I laid with my head in her lap. Taylor lifted my legs and sat them down in his lap. Tears started streaming down my face. Just like the night when I had been raped, I cried without reason except that it felt good. They didn't ask questions, Hayley just stroked and Taylor rubbed my calves.

"We love you Bella." Hayley said to me.

I just cried harder, until I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

**A/N ****So im incredibly immature and I hate the word 'clit' and 'nipple' so writing lemon chapters is kinda awkward for me haha. Im thinking about writing an outtake for the night that Bella had before the first chapter. Leave me a review to let me know if you guys would like that and letting me know how you liked this chapter. **


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